Moving to Argentina from Indonesia, I found my groove as a woman and a housewife

By Enda Balina

From a humanitarian to full-time housewife in a new country, Enda found a new and worthy challenge to scale.

Many women have to choose between their career or their family at some points of their life. My time to choose came right after I just completed my advanced study abroad. I joined my then-new husband who was deployed to Argentina.

Switching my life from a humanitarian worker to become a housewife was not as easy as I initially thought. I imagined it would not be hard to adapt to a new city. After all, I have been living in different places over the few years and I survived. I was wrong.

Not only that the Latin’s culture is very different from Indonesian, my being unemployed often pierced my self esteem & confidence. I think one of my hardest challenge at that time was transitioning to not having work and become dependent to my husband. I have never out of job in my life, it took me a while to make peace with my new status as ama de casa (housewife).

She found a family away from home – and more. Learning a new language and navigating through a new culture were tough but enriching.

Wherever I go, “What do you do for a living?” is often the third question being asked by the people I meet after my name & where I came from. Before moving, I completed my Masters in Development Studies where the main focus was on gender issues. I also worked for eight years in the humanitarian industry that embraced gender equality. When I made this move, some people that I know questioned my decision to give up my job and independence.

Isn’t it strange that the society does not appreciate someone who is choosing a family over work? People often belittle the important role of a mother and a wife, stereotyping a housewife as a domestic task even if it is a full-time job. Often people ask me what I do everyday to make myself busy.

I took this as a challenge to change some mindsets, conscious that even I myself used to have it. I took Spanish courses to enable me to speak faster. I got involved in various social charity activities to support our embassy leading an Indonesian women’s association and joined the diplomatic spouses’ group enabling me to meet new friends from different countries. I also signed up in many random courses like free Spanish conversation clubs, pottery class, yoga and even French class!

Being a housewife has more than pluses than minuses. “I can travel as much and anytime I want.”

Still, I often found it difficult when I had to introduce myself to new acquaintances. Answering questions where I work was the toughest of all. Indeed we live in a world where a job determines your identity and are judged by work and professional engagement. I found this harsh.

In reality, being a housewife brought me lots of wonderful experiences and opportunities to meet people, something that I would probably have missed out if I moved to Buenos Aires for a job.

I met lots of people from around the world with amazing stories. I have time to listen! Some of them are refugees from Syria, Americans who left their life back home for their love of tango and lots of western women who settled in Argentina in the name of love. Since I managed my own schedule, I was able to invest more time in people and building relations. An anthropologist by heart, I love listening to people’s stories and learn the social and cultural contexts. Casual encounters turned into friendships who became our family away from home.

I fell in love with the warmth of the Latino’s culture: one kiss on the right cheek every time you meet people and another one when you leave them – the warm and sincere hugs from friends. An old lady called me amor when I helped her got off from a bus. All these were a bit awkward to me at the first time (coming from a culture that is more reserved and conservative) but at the end, I appreciated the genuine connection.

Apart from learning new things and exploring a new environment, Enda became a mom!

One of the best benefits of being a housewife is that I could travel a lot. Anytime. I love traveling and going to new places. During our time there, my husband and I were able to tick some places in our bucket list: trekking in Macchu Picchu in Peru, climbing the glaciers in Calafate, exploring the northern salt desert of Argentina and exploring the beauty of Patagonia. On our last year, we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy.

At the end of our journey in Argentina, it was difficult to say goodbye. The place has taught me many things, the biggest lesson of which was self-acceptance of who I truly was and not letting anything determine my identity. I realized they are all superficial and temporary. Becoming a housewife was my personal independent choice. Choosing a family more than a career is something that every woman should not be ashamed of.

It became my campaign for women to stop putting label on ourselves. Often, the stereotyping even came from women who were supposed to understand and support this. A lady once asked me why I bothered to take a Masters degree when I would end up in the kitchen as a housewife. It is sad to hear but it is totally untrue! Having the best education is a great qualification for raising a family.

Are you ‘standing at the intersection’ of your life as a woman and are about to make a drastic swift? You are not alone. I’ve been there and I am sharing my tips so we can walk together.

1. Do not be afraid to take a leap! Going to an unknown land and leaving our comfort zone can be scary. Brace yourself and take the risk! We can always learn something from the experience. It is way better than to sit still and not give ourselves a chance to take up the challenge.

2. Close your ears to everything negative. Or even better, use them to motivate you in a positive way. People always have opinions about others, but so little about themselves. Don’t let all the negativity defines who you are and what you want to do.

3. Prepare yourself in advance. My biggest mistake was not preparing myself adequately before moving to Argentina. If I learned Spanish and the culture prior to moving to Buenos Aires, my early days in the city would be much easier. But then it was part of the journey and I learned from what I did not do.

4. Be flexible and ready to adapt. According to a survey, physically getting ourselves out of our comfort zone will widen our horizon and self-confidence. This is very true to me. If I did not move out of my comfort zone, I would never learn new things, a new language, cooking and organising skills, entrepreneurship or even the art of diplomacy.

Living in Argentina has definitely improved my cooking skills & creativity. Since good Asian restaurants were limited in Buenos Aires, I often had to cook my own food from scratch.

Learning new language for me was tough. The first three months were the most difficult as there were not many Argentinians who can habla Ingles (speak English). At first, I could only communicate with the lady cleaner at our apartment using Google translate from my Ipad. We literally had to type every words in order to communicate!

It has been a year that we are back in Jakarta and I love being closer to my family. But I also miss Argentina and the friends we left behind. Two months after we arrived, I went back to work making a career switch from Disaster Management to Grants. The new job is now giving me a lot of windows to learn.

Life is, indeed, a wheel. Our experiences are precious – if we give ourselves the chance to learn and explore.

Now back in Indonesia and again a working woman, Enda is happy to have her family close by. But her journey in Argentina still remains close to her heart.

Enda Balina is back as a humanitarian worker but stronger and prouder as a mom and wife. She lives with her family in Jakarta.

Taiwan Diaries: 6 baby-friendly travel days in amazing Taipei and other day trips

By Diane Laguardia-Paquingan

Taiwan’s sights are non-stop colorful visual and gastronomic experience. The place is also baby-friendly with facilities at your convenience.

Day One: Packed ahead of time

After a month of planning for our 6-day trip in Taipei, Taiwan, we again decided to bring Maddie, our 1-year old toddler. Just the three of us. Her first trip was in Japan with my in-laws and in Hong Kong with my sister Dyessa.

Two weeks ahead, I packed Maddie’s things not to miss anything. I ended up still missing my own things, my facial cleanser and my leg warmers. Boo! Pack your own stuff in advance too!

Having a toddler in this trip, we decided to have more time with nature and the wildlife. Maddie is beginning to appreciate flowers and colors. She even started imitating animal sounds. Her enjoyment became a priority. I was not able to find more information about Taipei in the internet especially for those visiting with babies or children. This blog will help moms with some tips travelling with their little ones.

What I love the most about this charming city is its convenient transport system. Everything is accessible by train and bus. Nappy breaks for your baby is almost never a problem. There are plenty of family rooms and diaper changing stations everywhere. They even have free baby wipes inside.

Taoyuan International Airport

We landed at Taoyuan International Airport at close to midnight. We went through the long immigration process but I requested us to get through first because I was carrying a sleeping baby. This is also one of the perks of travelling with a child. You get a priority pass!

The airport is located 45 min away from Taipei Main City where our Airbnb accommodation and most of the local attractions are located. I decided to book us a hotel room near the airport for us to settle right away after a long trip from Davao City.

I suggest, however, that you travel to the main city straight away, as there is not much to see in Taoyuan. You can also save time and money as you check out more attractions.

Day Two: Do not miss the Taipei Main Railway (MRT) Station food treats

Sharing a laugh with Maddie at the Taipei Main Train Station. She loves trains so much she can sleep soundly through the trips.

Checking out of our hotel in Taoyuan, we took a taxi back to the airport for the MRT transfer to the main city. It was spacious and high speed. We stopped by Taipei Main Station to grab a quick lunch. After a few MRT transfers, we headed to our Airbnb accommodation to leave our luggage. The food court in Taipei Main Station is worth stopping over. It has all my favorites from burgers, sushis, doughnuts and all the good eats!

First in our itinerary is the Yangmingshan National Park. It was a 45-min bus ride from Taipei Main Station. My only regret is not having enough time to roam around this beautiful Northern part of Taipei. Yangmingshan National Park is home to numerous small parks, hiking trails and interesting plants and wildlife.

The Yangmingshan National Park is located at the northern part of Taipei and a good 45-min bus ride. Maddie loved the park!

We also missed to locate the Visitor Center where you can hop around for a free shuttle bus to visit all other attractions in the national park. We were lucky enough though to spot a small park (I forgot the name) while walking not far away from the bus stop. We had our pictures taken under the cherry blossom trees and Maddie had a quick stroll with the ducks around the pond. Lovely!

It was so cold we stopped by and shared hot chocolate with Maddie in Starbucks.

Back in the city, we headed to Shilin Night Market to check out some tasty treats but I realized weekend was not the ideal time to explore. It was overcrowded! We put Maddie on a baby carrier and went along with the crowd anyway. We grabbed everything we wanted to taste and left. It was just too much too handle for our first day.

It is best to buy pasalubong (gifts and souvenirs) here but we never went back, too afraid it will still be crowded even on a weekday.

The Shilin Night Market is a haven for street foodies. Colorful, too!

How can you resist this? We did not and binged hard.

The crowd was just too much and we have a baby with us. We went with the flow and left in a huff.

The train ride to Houli Flower Farm.

Day Three: Flower picking day!

We went to the Houli Flower Farm with our Taipei-based Aunt Imelda. We took the train from Taipei Main Station to Tai’an Station, a good 1-hour trip but it took us longer because my husband left his phone on the train. Good thing we were able to locate it through the help of the information center in Hsinchu.

We ate lunch at the flower farm entrance – an unlimited Shabu-Shabu for Ntd350 (roughly around P590) and free flower farm entrance. Entrance alone to the flower farm is Ntd190.

The farm is a visual treat and perfect bonding place for families.

Fancy all these! I can sit all day and read a book.

The place did not disappoint. It was worth the long train ride.

It must be perfect living in a house like this.

Day Four: Wildlife, pandas and pork buns

Initially we wanted to go to the Taipei Zoo as early as we could but Maddie woke up late. She had it her way! It was drizzling and meant a little colder than yesterday’s weather but the little girl chose her own outfit with her pink cap. Yes, she has fashion sense now!

Animal time at the Taipei Zoo.

Taipei Zoo is easily accessible by the MRT through Taipei Zoo Station. With only Ntd60 (Php90) entrance fee, I never thought we were in for so much treat! It continued to drizzle until we got to the zoo so we decided to buy this stroller cover at the shop near the zoo entrance.

The shop attendant was kind enough to give us the stroller accessory I have been looking for to hang our diaper bag and other stuff. Yay!

Maddie slept during the drizzle. This plastic stroller accessory was helpful in keeping her dry along with our other things.

After visiting the Panda House, our little girl took her afternoon nap so my husband and I did a quick photo session. The zoo was one of the best I have been to, even better than the one in Singapore. Talk about value for money!

After a long day at the zoo, we checked out the famous Din Tai Fung Restaurant at a prime location in Taipei 101 Tower. We had Xiao long bao, pork buns and beef noodle soup! Just a tip, go here earlier than 6pm to get a table like we did. As we were leaving after our meal the queue was very long!

Couple-moment at the zoo.

Writing this was quite an experience!

Day Five: A mix of everything touching and nice

When you try to google all these locations, you will find out it is almost impossible to visit it all these places in a day. Thanks for my husband’s research skills and the Taiwan’s efficient train system, we did it!

Shifen is an hour of travel from Taipei Main City. We decided to go out early to maximize our day. When in Taiwan, do not miss to fly a colourful sky lantern at Pingxi District. You get to choose the color of the sky lantern according to your wishes. You also get to write your dreams and prayers before you release it to the sky. To get to the shop that sells these lanterns, you get to pass other shops that sell yummy treats.

Flying the lantern to the sky was even more memorable because we were with Maddie.

We missed visiting Shifen Waterfalls because it was raining. Instead, went to Jiufen Old St. It was another 30-min train ride back to Riufang Station and from there we decided to take a taxi up to Jiufen. It was worth it! I love how charming this old town is. I wish we booked an overnight stay here. There is so much to see including the Jiufen Night Market that we failed to check out since we need to get back to Taipei Main City.

The Jiufen view took our breath away.

The charming Jiufen Old Street was a buzzle of colors and merchandise.

The food treat does not stop. No diet in this trip.

Back in the city, we went to the National Taiwan University aka Ying de University. It is where parts of scenes of the International hit tv series Meteor Garden was shot.

The Taiwan National University made famous by the hit TV series Meteor Garden.

Just in time for dinner, we checked out Raohe Night Market where I got my third round of Bubble milk tea with pearls in just a day! We tasted everything from peppered pork buns, bite size sausages, egg tarts, cubed pork steak (locally called), fried taro, takoyaki.

The Raohe Night Market is a must visit if you love food!

A pork bun – yum!

Day Six: Old streets and food treats go together in Taipei

Aunt Imelda suggested we visit Tamsui District for cherry blossoms before we leave. I am glad we did! It is an hour away by MRT from our accommodation so we decided to leave early again. Luckily, Maddie woke up early. We visited the Fisherman’s Wharf first.

When we got out the train station, the bus stop to the wharf is conveniently few steps away. I suggest that you do not to spend too much time here if you are in Tamsui for a day trip. Go to the Tamsui Riverside quick!

Maddie enjoying the Tamsui River view and the cool weather.

A priceless mom and daughter bonding.

Next stop, the Tamsui Old Street. I found that if you are in Taiwan and it says old street you are in a for a street food adventure! Tamsui has a different charm compared to other places. It is very accessible for a day trip. We just strolled around the seaside district listening to some locals playing instruments along the street while eating local street food. The weather made it more special and romantic.

We were sad to leave Tamsui for Ximenting for our last minute shopping and pasalubong hunt. Before we reached Ximeting we stopped by Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Palace. Another must-visit attraction and most prominent historical landmark in Taiwan.

The Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall.

We fell in love with the Old Street’s art and grafitti.

If Tokyo has Shibuya, Taipei has Ximenting. Usually crowded at night, this is the liveliest neighborhood and shopping center of Wanhua District. I checked out some beauty loots and bought items from H&M and Uniqlo. We went Japanese for our last Taiwan meal. Ramen forever!

Ximenting will give a run for Japan’s Shibuya.

Shop until you drop at Wanhua.

Changing diapers at the airport (and almost everywhere else during the trip were very easy with clean facilities.

Going home!

It was one of my most memorable trips. I love everything about Taiwan: the cold weather, the local street food and the friendly locals.

It is baby-friendly, too. Each elevator is easily accessible for strollers and luggage. People give way to those who need it most.

Based on the journey we enjoyed having Maddie, Taiwan is one of the best. Give it a try!

 

 

“Most people delay traveling with their kids until they have a full grasp of the experience. I would argue that travel when it is possible. Travel when your kid is still not busy growing up and with school activities. Go travel with your children!”

Traveling is a good family bonding experience. Do not underestimate your baby’s memory. Maddie will surely have all these tucked in her smart head.

Diane is a nurse by profession, an online fashion entrepreneur of Kanami Fashion Shop, a travel blogger and currently a full-time wife and mom.

Note: Date traveled March 10 to 16, 2017