I do not know what to do next: Pregnant with our second child, my wife got diagnosed with cancer

By Mario Taguinod Talosig, currently an OFW in Oman

Jhungien and Mario on her healthier times. This young couple has big dreams and are working their way to achieve them. Until cancer came and challenged their journey. “The first time I was told, I was devastated and unable to speak”, Mario said.

The date June 10, 2018 would be one of the most unforgettable dates in my life. It was the day my wife Jhungien Bernardino Talosig was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML), in short – cancer. Nobody will be able to explain that feeling when you hear that a loved one is afflicted with one of the most dreaded of diseases.

What made it even tougher was that Jhungien was pregnant. Our first child Marien Yzabhelle is already seven years old and her pregnancy was an answered prayer. We were excited and thankful. However, she began feeling weak with persistent fever and cough. As she had gone through a tough experience for our first child, we thought it was just normal.

When her blood test showed too low beyond normal, we were referred to a hematologist in Adventist Hospital in Santiago City, Isabela in the Philippines. After the initial tests were done, the hematologist privately talked to me about my wife’s condition. “Acute myeloid leukemia or AML is a type of cancer that affects the blood and bone marrow. It is also one of the most common types among adults but rarely diagnosed in people under 40.”

What made things and decisions even more difficult was that she was pregnant of our long-awaited second baby. The baby we had been waiting for seven years after our first-born Marien.

Hearing this, I did not know what to say. I asked God why Jhungien. When I was trying to research on her having low platelets and hemoglobin, I even avoided even thinking of cancer.

I was advised not to inform her until the result of the Bone Marrow Aspiration & Biopsy (BMA) was released. We stayed in the hospital for one week until we decided to move to Manila upon the doctor’s recommendation. We never wanted to go to Manila since we are not familiar with the place. We also have few relatives to call for support.

We were then admitted to University of Santo Thomas Hospital’s Clinical Division. The doctors, thankfully, did not charge us with professional fees, but the medicines and laboratory fees were expensive. We stayed for more than a week. We were almost running out of funds.

Jhungien went through the ordeal with a positive spirit, helping rally her family even as they share her pain.

The daily blood checks were done. The platelets and red blood cell transfusion were required. From there, we were advised that she has to undergo chemotherapy as soon as possible. Knowing she was pregnant made us hesitant, as we feared it would have an adverse impact on the baby.

It was a difficult decision to do. We went home to our sister’s house in Maite, Hermosa Bataan to reflect on our emotional, physical and most especially, spiritual condition. We also tried to assess our financial capacity to go through the medical requirements.

Her blood levels were consistently monitored and in the process, she was admitted twice in Bataan Peninsula Medical Center. Due to frequent blood transfusion, Jhungien and I finally decided for her to undergo the chemotherapy.

A meeting was set with the doctors in UST and they instructed us about the preparations. They also organized another meeting with the hospital ethics committee since she wasby then 10 weeks pregnant. We waited for another week and she went through another transfusion of platelets and red blood cell.

AML is rare in her age but is thankfully treatable. All Jhngien needs is your kindness and generosity to be able to continue the treatment.

The cancer cells were found very aggressive in her case and lowered the blood cells count rapidly in few days. We met with the ethics committee and agreed that we have to wait for another week until she entered the second trimester for a greater chance of our baby’s survival to the effect of chemotheraphy.

We are now financially drained – to the last drop. More treatment processes need to be done. It was hard but I told her I need to go back to work in Oman. It was a very emotional decision to make but I have to be strong for my family. Without work, how can I sustain the required treatment for her? On July 9, 2018, I flew back to Oman.

As soon as I opened my phone upon landing, I received the news that she was admitted in the hospital for severe abdominal pain and blood spotting.

The ultrasound test revealed that we ultimately lost our baby and Jhungien has to undergo dilation and curettage procedure. We definitely lost an angel. Looking at the positive side, this brought us new hope that this time the chemotherapy can proceed with ease.

Jhungien recovered well from miscarriage. We decided to proceed with the induction phase of the chemotherapy. On July 23, 2018 she went through a series of medical tests and was cleared to receive the first dose of chemo medicines from July 30 and finished on August 5, 2018. It was her 34th birthday. She is very strong more than all of us combined, always confident she will overcome whatever side effects the chemotherapy will have.

Even for the initial medical assessments, tests and treatment, Jhungien and Mario have to sell whatever property they have invested on to pay for the bills. “We are now financially drained. There are times I do not know what to think,” Mario said helplessly.

Her immune system was down. Antibiotics were administered to fight infections and doses of morphine for pain relief. The blood counts are still low that is why frequent transfusion of apheresis platelets and red blood cell packs were required almost daily.

As soon as she recovers from the induction phase, they will proceed with the consolidation phase, which will have five cycles. Each cycle will be for three days of chemotherapy requiring her to stay in the hospital to recover before proceeding with the succeeding cycles.

Every cycle requires at least Php300,000. We have already exhausted all our savings, taken salary advances, took loans from relatives and sold most of the valuable properties we worked hard for together to be able raise what we need for the medical bills. I made her feel assured that these materials things are not important.

Her recovery is our priority. We know her case has very high chances of getting treated. This process will take at least one year depending on how fast she will recover after each cycle. At this time, we need not only for financial support but also for your prayers. It will be a long, painful journey. With your help we can continue to fight and eventually win this battle.

Mario reflects how this journey taught them about humility to ask for support because they have reached the end of the rope. Both of them also held on to their faith in God above all.

She was the one who tells me all the time to be strong and to pray always. Yes, we both believe this too shall pass. She reminds me to seek God in our hearts and we will find peace. Jhugien’s strength in faith brings positive energy to all of us. She firmly believes everything that happens for a reason and we should hold on to our faith.

This ongoing, and very painful, challenge for my family taught me humility and courage. I have always worked hard and did my best to be a responsible person and family man. Humility because I have to go beyond my own capacity for Jhungien’s sake and courage because this is what it will take for us to rise through this.

It is not easy to ask for help. But I am reminded by Matthew 7:7 – “Ask and you will receive; search and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you.”

For Jhungien I can do it all.

Jhungien and Mario with daughter Marien.

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For those who want to help Jhugien and Mario, you may contact them at this email: M.Talosig@omn.tcmbranch.com or call her sister Jelly Bernardino Malsi at # +63 9565860437

For donations, please deposit at Jhugien’s account: Jhungien B. Talosig

  • BPI Savings Account #1239199131, Swift Code for international transfers is BOPIPHMM (Cauayan City, Isabela, Philippines
  • Banco De Oro Account #003420038806, Swift Code for international transfers BNORPHMM (Cauayan City, Isabela, Philippines

Note: Please do not give to any one asking in behalf of Jhungien or our family except on these contacts and accounts. We thank you for the prayers and the support.

About the author

Mario Talosig works as a materials control assistant in an engineering, procurement and construction company. He is based in Sohar, Oman.

My father has cancer: How do I deal with a news like this?

By Maryann “Mai” Zamora

Mai recalls how her father felt guilty that she had to work in a fastfood shop to buy things she needed in school.

“Mai, your father has stage 3-colon cancer.”

I remembered how it went through my ears. Then I turned cold and endlessly sobbed in our couch. I was shattered.

It was my mother Mama Bebei who broke the news to me just after I got home from work in Cebu City.

It felt like spinning in a dark tunnel. Why him? I cannot fathom why it needed to be him. For a few months after my father Lando’s diagnosis, I hated the things that I used to love and the things that kept me sane.

I hated watching the sunset, the feeling of being surprised, all the traveling and the idea of uncertainty. I hated sunset because I was afraid that he will die when the sun rises; I hated surprises because I do not want to be caught off guard that he will go the next day; I hated traveling and uncertainty because I was afraid to lose him while I am away for work.

I thought I would feel guilty not seeing and taking care of him on his last days. I grieved in advance and lived in fear. I cannot lose the person who has been the reason why I do well in everything I do. There was a time that I gave in to these fears. I felt it was hopeless to fight the battle.

But my father’s words through the years gave me the courage to fight and survive. I cannot lose the battle without giving it a good fight. I can clearly recall when I told him I might not be able to go to college because he lost his job. He simply told me, “You will go to school.” No ifs and buts. I did.

That was five years ago this month – March 2012. I was then 25. Yes, my father went and rose through the 5-year relative survival rate for colon cancer patients. He survived! My family dealt with the pain gracefully. We survived the drama that cancer can inflict in a family. My father said earlier this week, “Mai, let us celebrate this victory when you get home”.

You must be wondering how we – as a family – survived?

Behind Mai’s smile is a superwoman’s spirit of flying through the storm to save her family from harm and pain.

You will never know how tough you are until the situation hits you. Having a loved one diagnosed with a serious illness does not compare to someone knocking and asking if he can come in. It is a long-winding road until you get to the point when the only choice is to face the situation. Your strength is weighed on the scale.

Two days after the diagnosis and before his operation, my father wanted to see. He requested from the doctor and nurse to wait for me before he gets inside the operating room. I ran fast to see him. I knew he wanted to have the assurance that I got his back; our family’s back. I acted tough to show him all is ok with us. I told him, “You need this, Pa. Or else you will suffer more and it would be more difficult for you and for us.”

That was my most heartbreaking sent off so far. I sobbed with his red rubber slippers in my hand. We all waited outside until the major operation was finished. The procedure remove portions of his large intestine and small intestine.

Be open to take it as an opportunity to know God on a personal level. It was on this moment when in everything I do and decide, I talked to God to make sure we are doing them right. I was very young back then. I am unsure. I needed God’s wisdom as guidance. I thought I cannot afford to fail because my father’s life is at stake.  It was the first time that I offered to pray for someone. As he was about to be wheeled inside the operating room, I approached the doctor and asked if we could pray for my father.

I held his hands and prayed. I cried, making the doctor’s hands wet with my tears. The doctor tapped my shoulder and said, “Pray and trust God. Everything will be all right, Mai. I will do my best.”

Her father surviving through cancer was a team effort. It was a bayanihan spirit at work from Mai’s family, relatives, friends and neighbors.

Saving for retirement early on. The experience taught me the value of saving and investing. When it happened, I have no savings. By the time we needed to pay the hospital bills, I have to find means and exhausted all the resources I have. I kept it a secret from my family that I was running out of money.

I remembered writing an email requesting our office if I can borrow from my salary. I cried shamelessly at the internet shop while doing it. It was humbling. The financial and emotional challenge did not stop there. Two weeks after my father’s operation, he complained of pain and asked if he can be brought back to the hospital. The insurance has been exhausted and will not cover his further treatment. It was difficult to say no but I have no means to pay the bills.

In the end, it is all about family. Do not be afraid to ask for help, I did. Having someone with cancer is not just a family thing. It needs the support of the entire community and the people around you.  I am blessed with the best support system possible. My aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and neighbors who never left us during those moments.

Whenever I am down to my last resource, my Aunt Chona, the sister of my father, would call me and just listen how my days went. My uncles and aunties were also around anytime we need them. My younger sister Sha, a Biology student, patiently explained to me the treatment processes.

Five years after the surgery, surviving cancer is her father’s best gift to the family.

The bayanihan spirit is very much alive in Filipino communities. Bayanihan is the Filipino trait of coming together to help a cause. While my parents were in the hospital, my neighbors would clean our house, bring food for my brother and for my parents at the hospital. They reminded people in our village not to talk to my father about having cancer. It was only after three months when my father learned he has colon cancer.

When I got back to work, I would ask my friends for help – such as my friend Crislyn Felisilda-Dacut paying the hospital bills for me. I do not want to burden my family to know how much it had cost us. I wanted to condition their mind that I am in charge and they need not worry.

Learn from the process, no matter how painful. It initially felt it was unfair for my father and all of us to suffer. In those darkest moments, my workmates would send me messages or put a note on my table, reminding me of Bible verse in Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know I have plans for you; plans to prosper and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and future.” True enough, after five years, He kept His promise.

I learned the hard way that major breakthroughs come from major heartaches. Looking back, I now understand why it needed to be him. Why my father? Why him? I realized God hits us in our weakest points to become the person He wanted us to be.

I am not used to showing my emotions. I was stonehearted and always wanted to be a superwoman. With what happened, I am kinder and learned to empathize. The journey gave me a big heart for others because I know how it feels to be broken and left empty-handed.

Mai continues to give back joining outreach initiatives of small organizations in Mindanao.

Mai is currently an aid worker sharing powerful stories from the most vulnerable and marginalized communities in the Philippines for eight years now. She has been deployed in major emergencies in the country and finds time to travel and learn from different cultures.